1)
Do Not Marry Potential:
Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while
a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change. This is the
wrong approach on both accounts. Don’t assume that you can change a
person after you’re married to them or that they will reach their
potential. There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be
for the better. In fact, it’s often for the worse. If you can’t accept
someone or imagine living with them as they are then don’t marry them.
These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or
practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication
skills, etc.
2)
Choose Character over Chemistry: While
chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes
them both. A famous quote follows, “Chemistry ignites the fire, but
character keeps it burning.” The idea of falling “in love” should never
be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse
infatuation and lust for love. The most important character traits to
look for include humility, kindness, responsibility, & happiness.
Here’s a breakdown of each trait:
Humility: The humble
person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by
them. They put their values and principles above convenience and
comfort. They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.
Kindness: The
kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and
minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how
they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude
towards their parents for all that they’ve done for them? If not, then
know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they
treat people they don’t have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales
associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money? How do they
deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else’s
anger?
Responsibility: A responsible person has stability
in their finances, relationships, job, and character. You can you rely
on this person and trust what they say.
Happiness: A happy
person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about
themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have
rather than on what they don’t have. They very rarely complain.
3) Do Not Neglect The Emotional Needs of Your Partner:
Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership
to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental
emotional need of a woman is to be loved. The fundamental emotional
need of a man is to be respected and appreciated. To make a woman feel
loved give her the three AAAs: Attention, Affection, &
Appreciation. To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs:
Respect, Reassurance, & Relief. It is the obligation of each
partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as
well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the
other, the intimate relationship will thrive. When a man takes
seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged
to fulfill his intimate desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously
the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give
her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working
together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.
4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans: In
marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common
purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.
You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about? Then ask yourself,
“Do I respect this passion?” “Do I respect what they are into?”
The
more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs,
your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life
partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with.
Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.
First
thing that strikes one about these two ladies is that they are
extremely beautiful as mentioned earlier. Asides that, they look alike
and almost carry the same eyes, smile and complexion…one could easily
commit to say they probably are sisters.
